Jasmine Kathleen Farrell

Where to start, my daughter Jasmine, was born at 23 wks and 3 days, on 21st May 1994, to myself and husband, she is our first child.My pregnancy was a total surprise and i was so excited to think we had made a life together, i had a very uneventful pregnancy right up to the 20th May, then i started to get cramps, i thought i was just a bit ill, i was 22yrs old and really knew nothing about pregnancy.i then had a show, which terrified me, i got a neighbour to run me to the doctor who in turn sent me straight to the hospital, the rest is kind of a blur, i remember getting checked and sent back to the ward to rest, the night was fine, i slept on and off, i really thought everything was fine, early the next morning i went for a scan, and there she was on screen, heart beating and moving around, still giving me those wonderful little kicks. i then had the doctor come in for an internel, i then knew by his face something was wrong, he just looked and me and Alan and said he was sorry but i was 6cm dilated and the baby was on the way, i went into shock, i was only 23+ wks, how could this baby survive, he said she wouldn't, and to prepare for her to be dead when i delivered her. They said there was nothing they could do to stop labor, but they would do everything they could for her when i delivered her.After a short labor, which i cried the whole way through, i even tried to stop pushing, but nature took over and at 17.50pm on 21st May 1994, Jasmine Kathleen was born, she was 1lb 6ozs, she was perfect in every way, i looked down at this tiny baby , i was terrifed, then she just started to cry, my heart soared, "she's alive " , they picked her up, let me kiss her then rushed her away to check her, what seems like a life time they returned with her, the doctor handed her back to me and just said , its almost time, say your good byes. Both myself and Alan just cried and cried, both our mums turned up as did Alan's sisters, his brother and my Dad, they all came in and held Jasmine, then i took her back, we asked everyone to give us time to be with Jasmine alone, and there while we both held her, she died in our arms. She had only lived for 4 short hours. 4 hrs 22 minutes to be exact. A few hours later they came for her, Alan handed her over to the nurse, i couldn't look , i was so devastated. We laid Jasmine to rest on May 24th in the Holy Angels Plot, close to our home. the service was beautiful, my Mum said, "you got to hold your child in your arms for her whole life, not many parents get that opportunity" thats your blessing. And i do feel blessed.
Then in September 1996, i gave birth to my miracle, another beautiful daughter, Kerrie Michelle,6lbs 13ozs, she was born on the 18th Sept, 2yrs and 4 days after Jasmines Due Date. Kerrie talks about her sister all the time, we have her photos up, so she's never forgotten. Jasmine is my angel, my forever baby, i miss her every day.

*** Many people dream of Angels, we got to hold one in our arms ***

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****UPDATE****12th July 06****

On 20th May 2006, i gave birth to Jasmines little brother Ryan, he was born one day before her 12th birthday. He is perfect in every way and i know Jasmine is watching over him, he looks very much like her.

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****UPDATE****24TH AUGUST 2007****

On 12th August 2007, i gave birth to Jasmines little sister Hannah, she is very beautiful and again she looks very much like Jasmine with dark hair just like J had.

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***Jasmine is remembered in the "Book of Life" www.innocents.com***

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***** I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all who have lit a candle or left a note here on our Jasmines page, you are in our prayers *****

To view Jasmines name is the sand, click here http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2008/11/jasmine.html

A Poem For Jasmine


Lose Something before you know
Read something before you digest,
Signify something before you lose,
Love someone for so long, for so little time,
A few hours pass, i've lost a friend,
she's lost a life, a part of her,
Has she fled in time for us all?
What is this thing called dying?
Nonsense, we're all one big life,
One day, we'll all be so happy,
Brothers and Sisters united together,
I feel it, she said, I feel it,
Someday ......
Someday, we'll meet again,
and when we do, we'll never lose it,
and we'll all be as one.
We've already started, she said,
Our love will never die, she said,
we'll always remember the day, she said
How can i forget the fear, the terror, the joy, the happiness, the tears, the goodbyes,
so much of you, she said,
All my life in a day, all of yours,
I'm still here, i'm lost, i need your hands,
and i feel them, i feel them,
and someday soon,
Someday ......

Written by Joe Howard 1994 (1st cousin of Jasmines Mummy)

GO AHEAD

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further,
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.




DEAR PARENTS

I did not die young
I lived my span of life,
Within your body
And within your love.
There are many
Who have lived long lives
And have not been loved as me.
If you would honor me
Then speak my name
And number me among your family.
If you would honor me.
Then strive to live in love
For in that love, I live.
Never ever doubt
That we will meet again.
Until that happy day,
I will grow with God
And wait for you.



JUST FOR A MOMENT (cited in A Silent Love)

Our hands have touched, our paths have crossed
A love is gained, a love is lost
Just for a moment I kissed the face
Of an innocent child I can't replace.

Just for a moment a maternal touch
Would say the words that meant so much
A soft caress, the gentle tears
That made those minutes last for years.

Just for a moment, I held your hand
My broken heart in your command
So much to tell you, so little time
Why were we punished, what was the crime?
They took part of me when they took you away
As much as I loved you, you weren't meant to stay
I gave you a hug that for always must last
As facing the future means leaving the past.

Our souls have merged, I live for you
Perhaps I'm living your life too
I will carry on; I can always stand tall
Because just for a moment, I had it all.


THESE ARE MY FOOTPRINTS

"These are my footprints,
So perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
Never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint,
For now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant,
For other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints,
In the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
Of joy and not from pain.

These tiny footprints,
Are found on mammy's heart.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."



TO A MAY BABY

To come at tulip time how wise!
Perhaps you will not now regret
The shining gardens, jewel set,
Of your first home in Paradise
Nor fret
Because you might not quite forget.

To come at swallow-time how wise!
When every bird has built a nest;
Now you may fold your wings and rest
And watch this new world with surprise;
A guest
For whom the earth has donned her best.

To come when life is gay how wise!
With lambs and every happy thing
That frisks on foot or sports on wing,
With daisies and with butterflies,
But Spring
Had nought so sweet as you to bring.